Why can a favor make a later request harder to refuse?

Reciprocity is a durable social mechanism: receiving creates a felt debt. Most of the time this is how communities cooperate. Sometimes it becomes a lever.

The difficulty is not recognizing reciprocity. The difficulty is noticing when the request arrives wrapped in that debt — so that refusal feels like ingratitude rather than preference.

Innocent explanations exist. People ask favors of those they trust. Timing can be coincidence. Pattern matters more than a single ask.

A precise response protects both relationship and clarity: thank the favor, answer the request on its own merits, and notice if “after all I’ve done” becomes the argument.